Sunday, 28 September 2014

CIPA Congress: care of the community

24 September 2014

I remember I am supposed to say something in my speech about how great it is to see so many patent attorneys gathered together.  I suspect I am going to need a lot of alcohol to do this bit with conviction.  But it is apparently important that CIPA provides a “community” to which all these eccentric misanthropes can belong, and Congress was the kindest place we could think of to put them.

As a chemist, I find it fascinating to watch a gathering of CIPA members.  Most of the time they bounce off one another irritably, like a bucketful of negatively charged particles.  But if you introduce a catalyst, for example a normal human being, they begin to coalesce, forming sinister huddles and mumbling darkly to one another about added subject matter.  I call this “ironic bonding”.  It is intended to communicate, to the normal human being, that however irritating your fellow patent attorneys, they are infinitely better company than someone who has never learnt how to draft a multiple dependent claim.

I think I will add something to my speech about being nice to Other People.  Especially stupid and unskilled Other People.  I will say it is great to see so many patent attorneys gathered together but perhaps if we could try not to look like vultures it would be nice.  Especially since we are being filmed.

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