This blog is a personal view of how it feels to be the Vice-President, and then the President, of CIPA. These are my own words, not CIPA’s: tongue-in-cheek, often irreverent, sometimes satirical. They are written for people with a sense of humour, a broad mind and a generous and forgiving spirit. And talking of spirits, they contain quite a lot of references to gin, which I like drinking. If you think you might find this type of writing disturbing, please do not read any further.
Monday, 13 April 2015
A manifesto, some Women in IP, and an inflatable fish
21 February 2015
I finish writing my Presidential manifesto and post it on my
blog.I tell Twitter® and LinkedIn® and
my mum that I have done this.The first
two ignore me and the third forgets all about it.Perhaps I have not made it saucy enough.
24 February 2015, 10 am
Yay!I am at the
Women in IP Forum, to which I have accidentally been invited after all just to
shut me up.In amongst a sea of Women in
IP, there are three or four Men in IP, who are being very, very careful to shut
up and not fidget.There is an awkward
moment as we file out for coffee, because the men are not sure whether they are
allowed to hold the door open for us.One of them, true to his upbringing, decides it is only polite to hold a
door for a woman.He is still holding it
when the coffee break ends.
It is reassuring to find that a Women in IP forum is like
any other IP forum, in that there are talks about IP and questions about IP and
not enough glasses of water to go round.
I leave early, feeling thirsty, and go to see IPReg.The Pee is there too, along with two VeePees
from ITMA who are our Friends because we are still hoping to get invited to
their parties.I do not think IPReg are
very pleased to see us, but they give us some sandwiches anyway.
24 February 2015, 5 pm
Mr Davies and I have come to visit a CIPA member who works
in Cambridge but is sad because there are no other patent attorneys in his
office.Personally I cannot see why this
makes him sad; in fact I would have thought it was cause for celebration.
Our host is much more pleased to see us than IPReg
were.After a brief chat about CIPA, he
disappears for a while, looking very excited, and returns carrying a cardboard
box.The box contains a giant,
remote-controlled inflatable fish.He is
very proud of this fish.He says he uses
it to teach his colleagues about the patent system.He has some patent documents to go with it; they
contain drawings of other remote-controlled inflatable things that a less
patent-savvy person might think make the fish look Obvious.And an examination report that says yes
indeed the fish is Obvious.Plus a solicitor’s
letter that says Obvious or not, we are going to sue the pants off you (only
that is not a threat, you understand; we are merely bringing the patent and the
pants to your attention).
Mr Davies is over the moon.He looks as though he’s been invited to six darts matches all on the
same day.Bring your fishy documents to
Chancery Lane, he says excitedly, and we will teach the CIPA staff about the patent
system too!And he instantly goes online
to purchase his own remote-controlled inflatable fish and a canister of helium.I say are you not supposed to be the Chief
Eggsek and doing serious things like Conflict of Interest policies and
manifestos and audit reports and rewriting the Council minutes which you made
too life-like last time?But he is not