Wednesday, 17 December 2014

CIPA makes a friend

27 November 2014, 3 pm

This afternoon the other Officers and Mr Davies and I are busy extending CIPA’s vast Circle of Influence.  We meet a Very Important Man.  This man tells the Government what to do and what to tell other people to do, or at least when it comes to professional business services he does because that is the area he is in charge of.  So basically it can only be a Good Thing to be this man’s friend. 

The problem is that he looks like he has a lot of friends already.  He is not going to be won over by a packet of biscuits and an invitation to play Top Trumps® after the meeting.  No sir.  Not like my new best friends forever, the Dutch Apple Cake Pixies.

Also we will scupper our chances altogether if my safety pin exceeds its elastic limit at a critical moment.  I can tell that when they asked me to leave my rucksack outside the meeting room they were half hoping I would stay behind to look after it.  In fact let’s be honest about this: they were probably three-quarters hoping.  But I felt it was better that the Important Man should see CIPA for what it is and make his own decision about whether to call a therapist.

Actually, though, the Important Man says he would be very happy to help us, so long as it doesn’t take too long because he is quite busy that day, and the day after, and he says the issues we have about UPC representation rights are exactly the type of thing that his Council needs to know about in case there is a damaging effect on UK businesses and the Government forgets to do anything about it.

And I say: what representation rights?  What UPC?  Would you like a biscuit, sir?  But I cannot stand up to hand round the biscuits because the safety pin has attached me to the back of the chair.  And it is ever so slightly just possible that the others had a hand in this.

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