Tuesday, 2 December 2014


13 November 2014, 5 pm

Well, this is a bit of alright.  My hotel room has been upgraded to a suite.  At no extra cost to CIPA, I hasten to add: I would never have got a suite past the Internal Governance Committee and its new expenses policy.

The suite has a jacuzzi, a DVD player, a mini-bar and a kitchenette.  I sit in the kitchenette wondering what exactly it is I am supposed to cook with a miniature of gin and a packet of peanuts, but after four miniatures and a tiny supplement from the bottle in my suitcase, it does occur to me that perhaps I could try putting peanuts into the jacuzzi outlets and watching them get blasted around the bathtub.  Yes, I think that could be most entertaining.  Better than watching a DVD player that has no DVDs in it.  Acksherly though, praps I could put peanuts in the DVD player too.  Jush for a larf.

When you stay in a suite, breakfast is served in your room.  This is a pain because it means you have to get up early and tidy around before the man with the silver tray arrives to serve champagne and strawberries.  You do not want the man with the silver tray to see what you’ve done with the peanuts.

I cancel breakfast.  I can make my own in the kishenette.  From peanuts an diet coke an stuff.  I am a domeshtic goddess, me. 

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