Sunday, 11 January 2015

Christmas lunch day #2 - Secret Santa

12 December 2014, 1 pm

The festivities begin.  The staff gather round the CIPA Christmas tree, which is made of pipe cleaners.  They are rather spindly pipe cleaners but at least they are green.

Mr Davies stands beside the tree with a beer in hand and makes a short speech about everyone being lovely to work with.  Then the Secret Santa presents are distributed from under the pipe cleaner tree.  Mine is a book about how to be good at public speaking.  It says anyone can be good at public speaking all you have to do is know how to do it, which I guess goes for most things really although perhaps not chairing CIPA Council meetings.  The book does not say anything about straw.

On we go to a restaurant for our Christmas lunch.  There are some last-minute no-shows so we share out their meals between us.  Mr Davies eats everyone’s sprouts.  Some people crawl under the table for a while.  We all wear our paper hats.

The EyePeePee and the Onssek turn up as well.  The Onssek’s Secret Santa present is a book about golf: it says that anyone can be good at golf all you have to do is know how to do it.  The EyePeePee gets a book about trains: it says that anyone can be interested in trains although if you become too interested you should probably seek counselling and here is a helpline you can ring.  The EyePeePee immediately gets out his phone and a few seconds later, Mr Davies answers his in a funny accent.

I feel bad that I did not get Mr Davies a Secret Santa present.  But they don’t write books about how to wave a large fairy-lit stick around on a stage and if they did Mr Davies wouldn’t need any more encouragement anyway.

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