Thursday, 8 January 2015
Student induction day #2
8 December 2014, 3 pm
The induction day progresses in style. A speaker fails to arrive on time, the IT equipment doesn’t work and the laptop keeps sending me pop-up messages in the middle of my presentations.
Laptop: I am about to shut down. Would you like to postpone?
Me: No, that’s fine, don’t mind me; shutting down mid-presentation is a super idea and would you like to reconfigure yourself while you’re at it? Of course I want to postpone!!
[Five minutes later.]
Laptop: I have some new software for you.
Me: Yippee. Go away.
[Two minutes later.]
Laptop: I still have some new software for you. Click here to instal.
Me: No. Thank you. Really. Can I get on with my presentation now?
[One minute later.]
Laptop: Installing new software. Would you like to postpone?
Me: Listen, I don’t care if you have a whole new operating system to instal! Yes, I would like to postpone. Indefinitely. [Pause.] Where have you put my presentation?
Laptop: I have encountered an unexpected problem and have had to stop working.
Laptop: Actually it was not that unexpected. I encountered the same thing yesterday.
Me: Yes but–
Laptop: And the day before.
Me: But what about my–
Laptop: Would you like me to send you an error report?
To add insult to injury, one of our speakers begins his talk about stress in the workplace with a story about some commuters stuck on a delayed train. This is not tactful. Then he explains that one of the symptoms of stress is irritability. On reflection, perhaps it was a little rash of me to hurl the laptop at him.