Wednesday, 28 January 2015
The accidental Bond villain
6 January 2015, 9 pm
Soon it will be time to decide whether I can face standing for President. Lucky CIPA.
If you stand for office, you should probably have a manifesto I think. That way, afterwards, you can tell people to stop complaining because you warned them it would happen. I do a rough first draft of a Presidential manifesto, just to see what it feels like, and it feels quite good although that may be the gin. But when I show it to my friends at CIPA they think I have gone mental. They say you have accidentally written a manifesto for a Bond villain and also what is this bit about everybody having to curtsey? And what does “Mwa ha ha!” mean?
They promise to take a closer look and send me back some tracked changes, to show all the commas I need to remove and all the Capital Letters I need to add. And I think: my evil plan is shaping up nicely. While they are distracted with accidental commas I will be secretly taking over the Institute. And I will remove its Capital Letters one by one and throw them to the Solicitors to feast on and then the ceremonial gavel – sorry, the Ceremonial Gavel – will be MINE, all mine! Mwa ha ha!