Sunday, 2 November 2014

The Gin Diaries part two

26 October 2014

There is another gin called Six O’Clock Gin™, and you are only allowed to drink it after six o’clock.  Fortunately, I am usually up by six anyway, especially if I have to catch the London train, so this doesn’t limit me much.  But the best thing is that now the clocks have gone back, I will be able to start on the Six O’Clock Gin at five o’clock every morning, which is no limitation at all.

Six O’Clock Gin is apparently flavoured with orange peel and elderflower.  Whatever.  Its bottle has a ground glass stopper, so it passes the chemistry practical test, and it is a gin for when you are in a, well, an orange peel and elderflower type of mood.  If you are a sensitive person like me, alert to your body’s internal harmonies, you will realise that orange peel and elderflower moods affect you quite a lot.  Sometimes as often as twice a day.  So this is a lovely citrusy pick-me-up and, unlike in a real chemistry practical, there is not a trace of ground glass in it. 

Today’s orange pith and elderskin mood is caused by having to practise a talk I am giving to business advisors at an IPO event.  It is my job, at this event, to explain the importance of using a proper qualified IP attorney.  And I am to emphasise that the IP attorney must be brought in at the right time, and that the right time is not immediately after everything has gone nipples-skyward.  Although if you wanted convincing that an IP attorney is the person to save a business from decline, possibly I am not the person you would look to.

It matters to me that IP is not tinkered around with by amateurs.  IP is like medicine: you cannot just make it up as you go along.  You might look at your mate’s ankle and guess that the incident with the beer can and the pothole had caused a bit of a sprain, but you wouldn’t attempt to put it in plaster for him.  And yet time and again a client turns up and says here’s one my local IP Wizard patented for me on a TM1, after my successful press release, and here’s my claim 1 specification of goods and my drawing of the one I copied from my competitor, and now can you help me sue them for infringement on a £75 budget – they know to expect it because I sent them a defamatory threat the other day which you can download from my website.  Oh and by the way I have called the website and the IP Wizard said that was okay.

There is clearly some awareness-raising to be done out there in the Real World.  When I have recovered from my orange fluff and elderbottle mood I will be right there on the case. 

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