Sunday, 7 June 2015

Constitutional Catastrophe

30 April 2015, 9 pm

Mr Davies is distraught.  He rings us up to confess that the election has gone wrong, all wrong, and it is The End of the World.  Apparently we miscounted the number of vacancies on Council – there are eight, not seven.  Never has there been such a Constitutional Catastrophe at CIPA, except for that time last year when not enough people turned up to vote for the new membership fees, oh yes and that time on Council when we couldn’t decide who should eat the last biscuit. 

Mr Davies hates people to think that CIPA is not perfect.  He thinks he should throw himself on his sword, only he does not have a sword, only a big walking stick with lights and bells on that he uses as a prop on stage.  So then he says he wants us to give him his P45, and he will sign it with his own guilty blood and he will never forgive himself and blah blah blah.

I tell him to shut up.

Listen, I say, you work with people who live in constant fear of realising they’ve only filed claims 1 to 5 of 15, or missed a deadline because they thought today was April 31st, or accidentally copied a client email to his competitors with details of his latest infringing activities.  Every single voting CIPA member dreads having to grovel for re-establishment of rights or an extra extension, has nightmares about picking up the phone to PAMIA to say, “You know that insurance I have…?”

So really, I explain, patent attorneys are not going to mind if a ballot goes slightly wrong and we have to start again.  It is still better than what happened in the last General Election, when we all dutifully cast our votes, and then actually got a government cobbled together out of bits of parties that other people voted for.

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