Friday, 5 June 2015
Spawning fish & recalcitrant laptops
30 April 2015, mid-day
In a huddle in a corner of the Glasgow hotel, I talk to some CIPA members about their business practice and regulatory problems. Actually what happens is that they tell me what their problems were, and then they tell me how they solved them, and then I ask if CIPA could borrow their ideas please.
In the afternoon I chair the annual Scottish CPD seminar. I have brought my Cowtrackingclangingthingen with me (I stuffed socks in them when I packed, to avoid traipsing through the airport sounding like Heidi). They seem to have the desired effect. The speakers do not go over time and we romp through a range of topics and apart from getting the guest speaker’s name and employer wrong, I think I get away with it.
One of the talks is on something called the Nagoya Protocol. This is to do with Biodiversity and not using Biodiverse things without saying thank you to the country you stole them from. We somehow get talking about fish, because if you are using Biodiversity from fish then which country does the Biodiversity come from and who do you have to thank? What if the fish were spawned upstream in another country somewhere? What if they swam across national borders? Only a roomful of patent attorneys could get into a debate about spawning fish on a Thursday afternoon in Glasgow.
Mr Lampert then gives a wonderful talk about stakeholder engagement and tries to show us CIPA: The Movie with the watering can and the cartoon trees. The laptop says No. Mr Lampert says Oh please but the laptop still says No. Then Mr Lampert tries to show us a mock-up of the new CIPA website but the laptop says No, not on your nelly. So then Mr Lampert gets cross and shows us the video through YouTube® anyway and he gets a round of applause for his perseverance and his advanced social media skills.
And then I stand up and say Look how impressive CIPA is these days. The delegates do not seem convinced. So I hand over to Ms Sear, and she makes them convinced alright. Ms Sear can be quite scary.