CIPA boots

13 November 2014, 9 am

Last night the President went to the annual Past Presidents’ Dinner.  As a token of their respect, the Past Presidents clubbed together and gave her a pair of CIPA cufflinks.  We all know how much a lady loves cufflinks.

The President insists she is very pleased with her cufflinks, but I think she is just being polite.  During the discussions that follow, in which I voice my own views on the subject with all my usual diplomacy and restraint, it emerges that what she might actually have preferred is a nice pair of boots.

This strikes me as a very sensible idea.  What President, male or female, would not want a pair of CIPA boots?  Obviously there would have to be different types of boots for different types of President.  For some there could be hob-nailed boots (I am reluctant to name names here, but it is no secret that the EyePeePee spends a lot of his time amongst engines).  For proper women, like our current President, there could be proper boots, fashion boots, the kind of boots you could wear in the high street without anyone suspecting you were actually a patent attorney.  For people like me, should I ever get to be President and should anyone ever have enough wild horses to drag me to a get-together of previous Presidents, probably a pair of wellingtons would be fine.

So forget the cufflinks, and the CIPA tie pins, and the golf balls and the P6 textbooks.  What we really need is CIPA boots.