Wednesday, 22 October 2014

An afternoon of excluded subject matter

16 October 2014, 4 pm

Still in Cardiff.  Couldn’t find the way home.

We are back at a posh hotel for an afternoon of CPD.  In another part of the hotel, an event is being held by my favourite energy drink producers.  I resist the urge to join them instead, because it would probably be a very macho event and I have had too much of the military manoeuvres today, what with orienteering my way around Cardiff with the EyePeePee and Mr Davies.  Also I am not sure how broadly CPD is defined, but I suspect it should not be confused with feeding a fizzy drink addiction.

One of the intended CPD speakers has had to cancel at short notice.  He is probably somewhere down the tow path but no one feels compelled to go and find him.  In his place, a kind man from the IPO steps in to tell us about patent protection for excluded subject matter, which is easy enough because there is none.  (And even I know that.)  He talks about computer-implemented inventions.  This goes largely over my head because my clients do not do computer-implemented inventions, much less computer-implemented inventions which are actually dressed-up business methods.  If my clients invented a business method they would be more likely to pull it along behind a tractor than run it on a computer.

So I zone out and check Twitter® instead.  I used to think it was rude to read your smartphone during a lecture, but now I realise that if you don’t read your smartphone during a lecture, everyone thinks you are a Sad Person with no friends and no followers and no appointments to go to.  So as VeePee I am obviously obliged to demonstrate how many friends and followers and appointments I have.

Actually what I find on Twitter is that someone has misread my latest blog.  Instead of “spanking new rules” they read “new spanking rules”.  And they are a little bit concerned.  I’ll bet Mr Boff is concerned too.  I should stress that CIPA has no intention of introducing a rule about spanking, and anyone who wants us to should declare their interest immediately to the Constitutional Committee, which will respond with appropriate disciplinary measures.

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