Saturday, 16 May 2015

Looks like I am going to be the Pee

16 April 2015, 5.30 pm

After the seminar, we bar the doors to stop people from accidentally missing the OGM.  Some of them still manage to accidentally miss it, but we have just about enough left to hold the meeting and at the meeting we approve the ballot list for this year’s elections.  Right up until the last minute, I hold on to the hope that someone else might stand for President, and then I can say Oh alright then; after you.  But they don’t.  Rats.  It looks like I am going to be the Pee next year.

So it is time to make a list of the things I am going to do with my new powers.  I have some initial ideas.  For example, I would like to legalise undignified behaviour under the CIPA Bye-laws.  Just in case, you understand, and more for Mr Davies’s benefit than mine.  It will also be vital to emancipate and mobilise Biscuit Pixies the length and breadth of the country.  I plan to introduce a set of rules for Council and committee meetings, under which you have to shut up if you talk for more than three minutes or if someone throws a biscuit at you.  And I will outlaw the removal of commas from CIPA documents, ditto the removal of humour and personality, and also ring the people who make the CIPA tie pins and tell them they had better come up with something more creative and it had better not be cufflinks either or there will be Trouble.

Obviously I will need to amend the Bye-laws to say that the Chief Eggsek cannot tell the Pee or the VeePee what to do, like he tries to at the moment.  In fact, I will amend the Bye-laws to say that the President can do anything she wants and just you try and stop me.  Mwa ha ha!

But my main objective is a longer-term one, and it is this.  I want CIPA to evolve into an organisation so influential that people are queuing up to be President.  It really shouldn’t be possible for a walking gin-and-tonic to rock up from the Wess Curntry with a rucksack full of straw and a head full of, well, also straw actually, and become an officer of CIPA with a badge and a swimming-gala medal.  And spend the next twelve months waiting to be found out.

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